Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
