you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
