Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize
