your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
