somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
