that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
