I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
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