Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
