Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
