Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
