Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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