I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
