did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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