Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
