We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
