Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
