so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
