And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
