Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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