shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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