Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
