hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
