Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
