I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
