Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
