Nicole vs. Life
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
