Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
