I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
The convent might be a nice break from real life
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
