It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He shit in the fireplace
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
