also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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