Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
