My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
