i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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