But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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