I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
