you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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