Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
