$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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