I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
