I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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