porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
