Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
