be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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