I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
