I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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