dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
