a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
You can't motorboat a personality
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
