Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
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