I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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