I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
