She is in my trunk
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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