I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
ttyl tear gas
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
