just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
