Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
