he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
My boob is missing a layer of skin
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
