Please don't use social media to get back at me.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
